Losing Yourself In Motherhood: Part 2: Your Dreams

I’ve got some encouragement for stay at home moms: keep dreaming.

Now look, dreams change over time. They change before babies, after babies, with or without babies.

We are ever evolving creatures. My dreams sometimes change minute by minute.

I’m kidding. Kind of.

The point is, though, dreams offer us a glimpse into our own hearts. And that is invaluable as a Christian mom, because guess who plants those dreams?

So, do you know what your dreams are?

How identifying your dreams can help you feel like you again.

If you’re not yet caught up in the series:

• Introduction to Losing Yourself In Motherhood Series
• Part One: Your Design
• Part Three: Your Values
• Part Four: Your Personal Style
• Part Five: Your Next Steps

Part two is all about your dreams, both big and small.

When you find yourself elbow deep in dirty diapers for years on end, dreaming might be all you do. You dream about your kiddos- who they’ll be when they grow up, who they’ll marry, perhaps, what they’ll do.

You dream about bedtime, maybe, if you’re like me. I love my kids y’all but every mama has her limit.

You dream about what it’s like to not be at the mercy of someone else’s pooping schedule.

Yes, stay at home moms know how to dream, am I right?

But what about you dreams? I mean, you’ve barely had time to shower in the last five years much less pour any energy into those shiny diamonds just out of reach… if it’s a choice between dreaming and sleeping, sleeping wins errytime.

That’s changing now, though, mama. Because you’re nearing 40 and your precious darlings don’t need you quite so much anymore. You’re running out of excuses as to why you’re still dressing in your husband’s old raggedy t-shirts. And all those moments of quiet that fill the house, these days, they’re getting a little tiresome.

Who knew that was possible?

Plus, you did used to have hobbies. What were they again?

The simple fact is this: If you can identify with losing yourself in motherhood, it’s time to reclaim the you that’s still there underneath that supermom cape you’re wearing.

Encouragement for stay at home moms to dream big and small- and how to do it!

If you’ve forgotten how to dream, you’re not alone. Let’s take baby steps, shall we?

Step One: Divide your life into 5-8 key areas, and scribble down some dreams that immediately come to mind for each category.

Some ideas as you think about which ones really pertain to you:

• Faith
• Finance
• Health/Fitness
• Personal Growth
• Skills
• Hobbies
• Family
• Community
• Homestead
• Homeschool
• Home Life in general

Step Two: Dream Big! Ask yourself these questions as you look at the categories you just listed:

• What big dreams do you have that seem totally out of reach?

This could be paying off your house, building an orphanage, going to the bathroom without tiny hands sticking under the door (joking!)… don’t judge your dreams, just write them down!

• If you had unlimited resources and could not fail, what would you do?

Would you take your family on a ski trip even if no one knows how to ski? How about learn how to fly a helicopter? Would you try out for the Olympics in the pole vaulting class?

• What do you dream about that kind of scares you?

Not scares you like “hunting lions” would be scary (although maybe hunting lions)! More like, I dream about being a professional author but I’m scared senseless when it comes to putting myself out there, sort of dreaming. Totally hypothetical.

• What dream have you had since you were little that still seems far off to achieve?

*Ahem* To be an author…. but this is about you mama! What did you used to long for? If it’s changed, that’s okay. But it still might be a clue as to who you’re becoming in this new chapter of life!

Step Three: Encouragement for stay at home moms to have FUN dreams!

• What experiences do you want to have in your lifetime?

Definitely want to visit Israel with my kids and walk where Jesus walked. Definitely also want to live abroad for six months to tuck away from anyone who ever knew me, to write 🙂

• What would you like to learn?

How to ride a horse? Milk a goat? Sign language? Cook the perfect French crepe?

• What skills do you wish you had?

Do you wish you could excel at public speaking? Crochet a blanket a night? Quilt a blanket for each of your kids and grandkids?

Side note, I had an aunt who did that for her family and I treasure my wedding quilt!

• Where would you like to visit in your lifetime?

Gosh, where wouldn’t we like to go, eh? I’ve got my eye on Costa Rica and the Scandinavian countries.

• If you could build or create something, what would it be? Why?

We’re all creative in our own right, mama. Don’t sell yourself short. Where would, could, should your creativity shine?

Step Four: Regrets?

• What used to be one of your dreams, that you’ve laid down?

For me, once I moved out to a six acre homestead with my husband and three children, I put aside any notion that I would one day be a single girl in NYC, writing for a living. Aaaand after living through the disaster that was 2020, aren’t I glad of it!

• Did you want to lay it down or did you feel like you had to?

The reason I ask this, is because sometimes we have to/want to lay our dreams down forever. But sometimes, if it pains us, there’s a chance it’s only for a season. If you didn’t want to set it aside, but life calls for it right now, make sure you don’t lose sight of it. God may have something for you yet.

• How have your dreams evolved over the years?

My single in the city dream points to my preference for alone time and my love of writing. So while the environment and lifestyle have evolved, the desire of my heart did not. What about you mama?

How is this encouragement for stay at home moms who are ready for that next season?

I believe as moms, we lay down our passions and our dreams for a time. It’s difficult to stay present in the moment with sweet babies who need you, if you’re too busy thinking about what’s to come in the next season.

If all you can think about is writing, but you don’t have time to write, you are creating a breeding ground for resentment, bitterness, and disappointment. It’s not that you can’t prepare for your next chapter. Read some books, journal some thoughts, research every aspect of your “someday” that you can.

But.

You’re not there anymore.

You are here.

Your family is still your top priority. Your kids still need you fiercely, all hours of the day and night. And you still have much to do before you’re empty nesting.

But you’re not in newborn stage. Your toddlers are potty trained. There is a certain level of independence sweeping through the house.

And it’s okay, if in the empty space, you let your heart whisper those dreams again.

Ultimately, my dream is to arrive in heaven and hear “well done my good and faithful servant.”

And by well done, perhaps He’ll mean “way to chase those dreams I planted in your heart!”

Take some time and journal through all of your dreams, and figure out which ones resonate with this you, and which ones were for another girl in another lifetime. Then meet me here tomorrow as we dive deep into your values!

And while you’re at it, hop on my email list to stay connected… we’ve got page turning to do together!