The One Unexpected Reason You Might Be Feeling Restless, Mama

Do you have that restless stay-at-home mom feeling, wondering, “who am I besides a mother?

You know the feeling.

The “what should I be doing in my free time?” confusion that makes you feel like you’re somehow wasting time or falling behind.

Maybe it’s this itch to do something not so… inside the home…

Perhaps it’s a glimpse into the future where you actually focus on the other parts of you, the beyond momming parts.

Your kids are growing, you’re getting older, too, and there’s something about approaching 40 that has you wondering…

What else?


Who am I besides a mother?

Have you asked yourself this question, lately? I know I have. It isn’t that being a mom isn’t valuable, worthy, and enough to hang your hat on, so to speak.

I mean, we all know the proper terminology right? “You’re not just a mom. You’re a mom without the just.”

It’s such a weird little word to get hung up on.

But what if I said, “you’re not just a mom,” and I meant it?

Like, you are someone underneath the roles you fulfill.

You’re a wife, perhaps. You’re a woman, for sure. Definitely, you’re an individual created uniquely and particularly.

Yes, there is more to you than your role of motherhood.

Is that taboo for a Christian mom to say? I don’t know. Maybe.

The way I see it is this: we’re all going to find ourselves in a much quieter, less chaotic home some day. The kids won’t be around forever. And whether that brings tears of anguish or tears of joy is your issue to work through.

But it will happen.

Someday, stay at home mom won’t be how you describe yourself.

So ask yourself, seriously this time, “who am I besides a mother?

If you need help working through that question, check out Losing Yourself In Motherhood: a 5 part series.

Does wondering who am I besides a mother make me “the selfish mother?”

Does it feel strange to think about yourself? Believe me, it can be really intimidating to broach this subject with other Christian stay at home moms.

I mean, sometimes I get the feeling that I might be pegged as “the selfish mom.”

I think this is a misunderstanding, though.

The truth is, are commanded to think of others in higher regard than ourselves, and scripture needs to be taken seriously. Always.

Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.

Philippians 2:3

But I believe that you can minister to your family first, and still have time leftover for you. And I also believe that doing things which bring you joy, give you life, and express the fullness of your creativity and the way you were designed is an act of worship to the One who designed you.

I don’t believe it’s selfish to have a creative outlet or endeavors that take you- physically or mentally-outside of the home if those inside of your home are properly cared for.

The Lord wants us to steward well all that he gives us. That includes your talents, gifts, and skills.

How do I find my identity outside of being a mom?

As a Christian woman, my identity is found in Christ and Christ alone.

That’s the answer.

What a joy and relief it is to know that no matter what I do or don’t do, my identity is held firm in hands that won’t let go!

But also…

I am a mom. I am a wife. There are things I feel like I was created to do, people I have been crafted to serve.

Yes, my identity is completely spoken for.

And it’s in this truth that true freedom is found. That means, no matter how awesome your momming is today, or how miserably the day went from start to finish, nothing about your identity or worth changes.


And if you choose to pursue other things that don’t have anything to do with being a mom, your identity and worth also never changes.

The answer to the question of “how do I find my identity outside of being a mom” is as simple and complicated as this: don’t let your identity be in your mothering. Don’t let it be in anything that can change.

It is for freedom that Christ has set you free, so be free. Be all of who you are.

Related: Be Happy, Stay At Home Mom

Who am I besides a mother and why am I so darn restless?

You are the sum total of every part of you. And the one unexpected reason why you might be feeling so restless is this: you were created to be more than just a mom.

What you’re doing now, in this season, has eternal value, make no mistake.

But that doesn’t mean what else you might be doing can’t also have eternal value.

Momming is a worthy calling, it’s true.

But that doesn’t mean there are no other worthy callings for stay at home moms to pursue.

Perhaps, sister, the reason you are feeling so restless is because God is stirring your heart, changing the tide, shifting the winds, prompting you to move in a new direction.

Not to lay down one calling to pick up the next.

Please, don’t stop momming. Kids need moms.

Just begin to allow yourself to dream. To envision. To be curious about what else He could be calling you to.

You don’t have to start a blog tomorrow. But maybe it’s a blog?

You don’t have to jump into the online business world. But what if it’s an online business?

If you’re feeling restless, asking yourself “who am I besides a mother?” and “what might that mean for me?” is your next best step.

Restlessness can come about when we feel unfulfilled. When we know we’ve got more to give. Some seasons, you can barely come up with all that your family needs from you.

Other seasons, you’re not quite tapped out.

Last season you had five loaves and two fish and five thousand people to feed with it.

This season, Jesus is asking you to take the 12 baskets of leftovers, that He Himself created with your meager offering, and ensure nothing goes to waste.

Lean into that, lady!

Related: Shifting Your Mindset to Thrive As A Stay At Home Mom


Conclusion: Who am I besides a mother?

If you’re feeling restless, it could be because you’re ready to go beyond momming.

You really can disciple your children and pursue your passions. One does not negate the other.

Underneath all that mom jeaning, mini vanning, rock and stroll life is the person who existed before your kids did. Tap into her again. She was pretty awesome.

In fact, I bet she has a whole lot more wisdom to share with the world, now that she’s a few kids richer!

What passion do you feel called to pursue?