How I Came To Love Being A Homemaker

First of all, I want to point out the pink elephant in the room… I don’t use the term “being a homemaker” all that often, here. In fact, even my tagline is a quip about “stay at home momming.”

So why write a post about being a homemaker?

The reason is simple: I’ve been a stay at home mom since I became a mom in 2012. It wasn’t until last year that I became a homemaker.

Being a stay at home mom is a matter of circumstance. Being a homemaker is a matter of deliberate action.

reading room and fruit bowl

So is it homemaker or stay at home mom?

I’m not opposed to SAHM and I’m not about to go and change every word I’ve ever written about the topic. I’m not even going to change the fact that I will continue to write about the topic.

Homemaker feels more all-encompassing, to me, but it doesn’t negate the fact that stay at home momming can and should be exactly the same.

So, here, it is homemaker and it is stay at home mom.

Somedays I feel like June Cleaver and I have my ish together. Somedays I’m a little more “let’s just put on a cartoon and survive the afternoon” than that.

The importance of a homemaker

Homemaking is more than cleaning a house, fixing dinner, and keeping your children alive. Homemaking is about cultivating an atmosphere. It is taking seriously your role as wife and mother.

There is a great Proverbs I recite consistently that says “The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.” (That’s Proverbs 14:1 NIV, if you’re wondering).

I recite this because it reminds me that what I do, how I speak, act, serve, and love my family, is how each of them will in turn speak, act, serve, and love. I set the tone. In secular terms? If mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.

I literally have the power to shape my family’s day, good or bad. This isn’t mindless work, ladies. What we do is critically important in nurturing- or depleting- the souls of our little ones! I don’t know about you, but that feels mighty weighty to me.

I mean, when was the last time that your grumping and nagging cheered up your irritable children? Or your silly dancing and goofy face making didn’t turn frowns upside down?

Kids can’t resist a cheerful mama. They absorb the homemakers attitude, for better or for worse. *Gulp*

fruit bowl and reading room, title image

The qualities of a homemaker

So what makes a homemaker a homemaker? There are particular, intrinsic qualities that evolve by being a homemaker… or at least become important to hone once you decide that homemaking is your new life goal.

Nobody’s perfect, me least of all, and some of these qualities I excel at. Some I don’t.

Life’s a journey, after all.

10 Homemaker Qualities:

  • Patience- if your homemaking involves kids, this is just a good place to begin, friend.
  • Gentleness- because, little people.
  • Self-discipline- sometimes… okay, all the times… washing dishes doesn’t sound as much fun as dancing around in your underwear, singing to your old Britney Spear’s cds at the top of your lungs… but priorities, right?
  • Creativity- I firmly believe we are all created creative, and that we should use that in our homemaking. I prefer to creatively plan to do things, at the expense of forgetting to actually execute those things, but that’s neither here nor there.
  • Contentment- it’s no good to wish you had a different home to make, you have what you have. Maybe someday you will have a different home, but for right now, make the best of what you’ve got.
  • Efficiency- Remember how I said we will excel at some and flounder with others? This is a flounder for me. But one day, I won’t forget what I’m doing ever twenty three seconds, and I will run my home like a well oiled machine. Currently, it’s about hand-me-down-bike-rusty-chain level. But it’ll get there.
  • Hospitable- though I get a little squeemish every time I’m hosting a playdate, or small group, or dinner, I believe we have what we have to share it. Creating a comfortable home extends beyond my immediate family. I want it to be a safe haven for others, as well. Introversion aside.
  • Sincerity- you can be a stay at home mom and begrudge it. I’ve been there and done that, sister. But you almost can not be a homemaker with grumbling. You can be tired, depleted, and fantasizing about escaping alone to a deserted island for a month… but you can’t be an accidental, “I don’t wanna” homemaker.
  • Humility- homemaking isn’t about impressing anyone with your modern farmhouse decor. It’s about serving the people you love, and sometimes the ones you don’t, knowing that you can always improve upon your skills.

How I personally came to love being a homemaker

5 Tips to fall in love with homemaking

fruit bowl and room with chairs and books

Tip #1: Quit Social Media

Before you go all ballistic on me, hear me out. The year that I quit social media is the year that I felt the tug to really be intentional in my home.

Technically, that tug had been there all along or we would never have ended up in this home (with a barn and 6 acres) had I not had an inkling that perhaps someday I would be more Martha Stewart than Kim K.

But when I cut out the noise- and, friend, the internet is LOUD- I could hear myself think, I could hear the beat of my own heart, and I knew that I knew that nothing could be more important than what’s taking place right here in my own home.

Try it! What is revealed in the quiet may just surprise you.

Tip #2: Find a Mentor

Does this seem outdated? It’s not. It’s just not as popular as the “I know everything about everything” mentality of my generation (and those coming up behind me.)

If you really are who you spend the most time with, why wouldn’t you choose carefully? Why wouldn’t you choose someone wiser, more experienced, more interesting than yourself?

It took me two years of praying and moving to a different county to find mine. But she is, to date, one of my most favorite people. Her influence in my life has been immeasurable, and thank God for that.

Tip #3: Read About Homemaking

Not your first choice? Make it that way.

Seriously, I don’t know how you could read a book about decluttering and not immediately purge your closet (or your kids toys, unbeknownst to them), or a book about traveling and not run to find a travel agent.

I think that if you spend some time reading about homemaking, you’ll fall in love with the art. The creativity that’s involved, the beauty, the absolute joy of knowing that what you’re doing actually matters.

Even on those days when that aforementioned desert island is looking less “just for one month” and more “I think I’ll make this my permanent location”, in nature. Books inspire. So choose what you want to be inspired for!

If you need a list of books to start with, I’ve got you covered!

Tip #4: Make Like-Minded Friends

If your friend is more prone to complaining about her household duties or the amount of time her children are around her, guess what you’ll begin to do?

Yup. That takes us back to “we are who we spend the most time with.”

You want to fall in love with homemaking? Make friends with people who also want to fall in love with it. Or, better yet, who already are.

When I found my fellow homemakers, I went from “that would be cool” to “I can really do this!”

Tip #5: Read/Write a Blog About It

What kind of blogger would I be if I didn’t cite blogs as a primary influence in my desire to be a homemaker? I gave up the soul depleting social media and reignited my love for blogging: both reading and writing.

I found blogs of people I’ll never quite be, but of whom have inspired me to be a better version of myself. And once I got bit by the homemaking bug, I decided I wanted to share about it.

I mean, I was already blogging somewhat inconsistently. But writing about it helps hold me accountable to living out what I’m talking about.

quote about being a homemaker

Being a homemaker is hard work

It’s not about being perfect. It’s not necessarily about hanging your clothes to dry instead of using a dryer or making all of your food from scratch (both of which are on my “someday” list of dreams).

What it is, is being intentional about your home.

Intentional stay at home momming is homemaking.

mom and her daughter

It might be trendy to embrace the “messy mom” mentality, the dismissive, permissive parenting techniques and the netflix and binge with wine every night is fine culture.

But hard work pays off. We will all reap what we sow. And in the end, when you’re taking your last breath, you’ll never wish you could live another day to watch one more show.

You’ll wish you could spend one more day, in your home, with the people you love most.

Related Post: 5 Ways Simple Living Makes Stay At Home Momming More Complex

Today is your day, homemaker, learn to love it!