10 Ways Introvert Moms Do It Better

At the outset, I feel it’s only fair to begin with the understanding that I am an introvert mom and I have much stake in the title of this post. However, I’m fully aware that even the little differences I cling to, as my personality dictates my momming in some instances, can be (and should be) claimed by extrovert moms, as well! A fun, encouraging read for the introvert moms among me.

How do you know if you’re an introvert mom?

Being an introvert mom means deriving your energy from alone time. How many know that that is a comical notion when you’re parenting more than one? Sometimes, even when you’re parenting just one. Still, if you find yourself going absolutely insane for lack of quiet time and space to be still, you are probably an introvert.

Do introverts make good parents?

Of course they do! Again, being that I am one, I can speak from experience. I mean, I do own a world’s best mom mug so… Joking aside, every personality, be it introvert, extrovert, intro-extro-somewhere-in-the-middle-vert, has the absolute potential to be an amazing parent. Because God doesn’t make mistakes and He made you and He made your baby and gave that baby to you. You have everything you need to rock it.

Here’s my totally unbiased, wildly unself-inflating list of 10 ways introvert moms do it better:

1. They listen well. When their kiddo is wrestling with big feelings or uncertain emotions, an introvert mama knows what’s up because she listens to what her babies are saying and she has mulled over those same feelings, herself.

2. They understand deeply. Not only can she hear what is being said, she has a knack for hearing what isn’t being said, as well. Often times, her compassion knows no bounds.

3. They can teach self-awareness, a valuable skill. In a world that screams me first, I say me also. When you know what brings out the worst in you, you can focus on the things that bring out your best. Passing that on? Priceless.

4. Introvert moms often foster creativity, because they’re usually creative in some way, too. The writers, painters, drawers, and artists among us often identify as introverts.

5. They inspire self-care because without self-care they would be a mess. Self-care that’s not just selfish-care. Self-care that truly refreshes. Teach a child to take a time out for benefit, not punishment.

6. Introverted mothers can and will and prefer to read to their children for hours. Books upon books upon books. Nowhere to go, nowhere to be. Just the way she likes it.

7. They pay attention to non-verbal cues. Because they listen well and understand deeply and spend much of their time quiet and reserved, they can pick up on actions more easily than their busier extrovert counterparts.

8. They recognize their children’s individuality. Introverts spend so much time inside their own minds, they know that each person is a well of experience, feeling, and thought, so they see their kids as the unique creations that God intended them to be.

9. Introverted moms value one on one time. Often times, when babies are born and families grow, someone gets lost in the shuffle. These moms connect better when there are less people to connect with, so giving their kids one on one time is a joy, not a chore that falls by the wayside.

10. They often model a love of learning and growth. Reading is often attributed to an introvert’s dream, so it stands to reason that studying and all things nerdy are also loved by them. Maybe not always, but probably a majority of the time.

introvert moms

Bonus reason for this season specifically:

Introvert moms didn’t have to rearrange their schedules when covid halted everyone else’s plans. We homebody like nobody’s business and our kids probably felt the hit of cultural panic at a much lower degree than someone who might have had a full schedule which suddenly went completely empty.

Introvert moms have struggles, too.

Introvert mom guilt.

All of that those playdates we turn down, or extra curriculars we say no to, can sometimes weigh on us. Like every other mother alive, we wonder if we’re messing up our kid’s childhoods, if we’re doing it all wrong, or if they might have needs we’re unable to meet because they differ so much from our own.

Introvert mom burnout.

This is felt deeply on every level of our being if we cannot get sufficient alone time each day. Yes, day. Not week. Not month. Every single day we must carve out time to be alone. If too many days go by without that space in our schedule to re-energize and process life, burnout will happen and it will happen hard.

Introvert moms can have a hard time making friends.

It’s one thing to choose to be alone and quite another to be lonely as a result of not being able to find and make friends. Introverts guard their time because they have to (refer to the aforementioned burnout) and if they don’t already have a friendship established, this sort of unavailability can be seen as standoffish, rude, or just plain uninterested.

Introvert moms can bring a quiet joy to their homes.

Introverts spend a lot of time thinking, processing, and working to understand the world around them and the people in it, themselves included. And because their hobby is mostly internal, introverted moms can be a safe space of quiet and peace that is so lacking in a noisy, distracted world.

What might you add to this list?


  1. Jenn | 13th Sep 20

    I’m so glad you wrote this, Noel… I’ve spent most of my life thinking I was an extrovert because I love people, but then being confused and frustrated about why I’m so easily exhausted by interaction and crave alone time. After reading this I’m now thinking I’m actually an introvert! I also think quite a few eyebrows will go up if I say it out loud… lol.

    • noelbressler30 | 15th Sep 20

      Oh, I am so glad that it helped clarify things for you! A type 4 extrovert? I wouldn’t have believed it! I think it confuses a lot of people… especially when introverts like me are sooo “typical” and could be alone for weeks at a time without being lonely. But I do know a good number of introverts who actually *gasp* seek people out and enjoy them!

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